Winter Pains
by Cinda 7
Summary: Nny is confronted by his younger-self and as the snow falls, he discovers more about his past. Really sad 'n stuff


Winter Pains  
By: Cinda 7  
  
A/N: Oooo… my first (finished) fic with JtHM. I feel so proud of myself! ^-^ Gah… OK. I dun have any comics by Jhonen Vasquez so please excuse me if this SUCKS. And I must warn you; I am normally a very humorous person, but when it comes to writing fics, I normally write stuff all angst-y and dramatic, especially with the whole death of my so-called "boyfriend" Phoenix. (It's a long story.) Anywho, HERE I GO WIFF DA FIC! WHEE! *Gets all the energy out of her before she gets all depressed for the fic*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Nny or any of Jhonen's little creations. I own my own creations and if I catch you stealing mine of Jhonen's stuff, I'll come after you with a plastic spoon/fork. (Also known as a spork!)  
  
Rated: G… I KNOW I'M PATHETIC! SO SHADDAP!  
  
Summery: Everyone's favorite homicidal maniac is going through one of his depression states and Cinda 7 (me) attempts to cheer him up before he gets weird ideas. I ain't gonna give away the ending cuz that would just spoil it.   
  
Warnings: None, jes rilly depressing and that crud. I'm also in it. Sooooo… yea…   
  
Crud that isn't important but I thought you'd like to know: I can't swear. I know… I'm just pathetic that way. Comments are greatly appreciated and flames will be laughed at and used to warm me up in the winter. I will also give them to my brothers so they don't have to borrow my heater anymore.  
  
* * *  
  
Nny sat there for what seemed like hours. He only shifted once every hour or so. He was barely even breathing. He just sat there by his window as he let the cold rush of December air inside his house. It was freezing cold and Nny didn't really want to close his window. He sort of liked the cold wind. After all, it was free. So many things about this season reminded him about his past. It was mostly blurry and mysterious, but certain fragments of it were so clear for only a second. He knew his life had been horrific, and yet all these small fragments left unseen made him wonder if there was a time in his life when he was happy. Is it possible?  
Nny. What are you doing? You'll catch your death of cold.  
It was Nail Bunny who was talking. He didn't care any more what he said. That stupid rabbit always had to make sure he wasn't trying to commit suicide again. Sometimes he wished he would just leave him alone.   
"Nny? What are you doing? You'll catch your death of cold."  
It was a person this time. Nny turned around to see a teenaged girl standing there.  
"Hello Cinda 7. Have you come to interrupt my self-pity?"  
A while back, Nny took the girl out of her bed and tried to kill her, but her demon let her live. Eventually, Nny discovered there was more to this Cinda 7 child than what appeared. She was an idealist, like him. Sometimes she would come over to his house late at night on the weekends or whenever she got a chance. Sometimes she would just plain bug, but sometimes he really did enjoy her company. It was better than being alone with his figments like Psycho Dough Boy. He knew he couldn't kill her even if he tried. "Cinda 7 Demon" would stop him before he even started. The demon said something about "keeping her alive so I can torture her more." He really didn't understand much about her and her demon. He figured it was best not to ask.   
"Nny," she said softly. "I'm worried about you."  
This was new. No one really seemed to worry about him like Cinda did. It was becoming annoying.   
"Nny, talk to me."  
Did he really have to answer?  
"Have you ever seen a snowflake?" he asked.  
"What?"  
"Have you ever seen a snowflake up close?"  
"Not before it melted."  
"Exactly."  
At first, Cinda was confused. Then she realized what he was trying to say. Things tend to die before we realize their true beauty. She loved coming over to his house and seeing how Nny compared so many things to life and he always made good points about the stupidity of the human race.   
"What's wrong?" Cinda asked.   
Johnny sighed. "Devi…"  
Cinda leaned next to Nny. "I see. Still miss her?"  
Nny sighed.  
"I see."  
They sat there for a long time staring out the window. Then Cinda recalled something. "I know what'll make your holidays brighter! I'll be right back." She raced out the door leaving him alone again.   
  
* * *  
  
Cinda walked up to her house and suddenly heard a 'clink.' She turned around fast and found parts her necklace on the street. It was made up of a penny with a heart-shaped hole in it, and a small jade dragon. The dragon is something she got on her trip to Hawaii. Since she loved dragons so much, she decided to buy it. As for the penny, it was something that her "boyfriend" had given her. She was a bit hesitant to call him that because he was mentally ill and threatened her and that stuff. But he did have his sensitive side to him, and that's the part she missed about him. But he was dead now: shot in a church. The memories of his cold, dead body lying in that coffin still haunted her memories. Not only that, but her grandfather had died that year too. She had defiantly had a bad year and she couldn't wait for it to end. She put the necklace back together and held up the penny. "Please don't let anyone else die this year," she whispered.   
  
* * *  
  
Devi sat staring out her window with a twinkle in her eye. She seemed very happy about something. It was almost as though she was waiting for something. She watched as the snow fell silently on the ground, but it melted as it touched the street. Cinda hoped it would stick so she could have a snow day, but that never happened. At least she was finally out of school for the holidays.   
Devi blinked once, sighed, and said "I hope Cinda will give Nny that gift. It's hard to admit you love someone, especially Nny." She looked a bit concerned for a moment. "Do I really want to do this? Is it worth it? Do I want him?" After a long silence, she smiled. "Yes…"  
  
* * *  
  
Nny watched the snow as it fell more and more. Some of it started to stick to the street. It was becoming more like a blizzard by the minute. The rapid snow seemed to make everything disappear in a white sheet of snow. He closed his eyes for a long period of time, letting all his other senses take in all the December air. When he opened his eyes again, he saw a small figure walking slowly toward his house.   
"Squee?" Nny asked to no one. "Has Squeegee come to visit me?"  
He sat up and went outside to greet the small figure, but once the figure became more clear, he figured out that this wasn't Squee. Instead, it was a small boy about Squee's age holding a stuffed bear. Sure, he LOOKED like Squee, but he wasn't. It looked more like Nny. In fact, it WAS Nny! It was Nny inner-child.   
Nny stood in shock. Mini-Nny looked up at his adult figure. He stood with Nny's face, but his hair was the same spiky mess it was before it burned off, or he cut it in his sleep. He still wasn't sure which was right. Little Nny also had black pants and a white shirt with black sleeves that said "hug me, I'm cute." He also carried around a stuffed bear, much like Shmee. He was brown with oval-shaped eyes. The old bear had taken an incredible beating over the years. It had patches, stitched, and all it's stuffing was coming out. It was Little Nny and Mr. Bear Bear.  
"I'm cold," the little boy said.  
"You are?" was all Nny could say.  
"Mommy and Daddy threw me out of the house again."   
Then the little child ran off.  
"WAIT!" Nny called back.   
  
* * *   
  
Cinda went back home to go get a present that she went to buy for Johnny a while back. It was a small box nicely wrapped in blue wrapping paper. She even bothered to make a little bow for the gift and bought a card. She hoped that he would like it a lot. She spent so much time trying to figure out what to get him. She grabbed her coat and walked to his house. When she got there, she couldn't find him anywhere and became extremely concerned.  
  
* * *  
  
As Nny followed his inner-child, he walked down a familiar neighborhood. It was the place he used to live in as a child. He watched, as his whole life seemed to flash before his eyes. He saw visions of himself, his parents, who were always constantly fighting, his school, everything! He saw the way when his parents weren't fighting or working, they were complaining about his existence. He also saw the way the kids at school never understood him. They always considered him a freak and called him "wacky." He watched as he slowly became delusional, depressed, and more insane as each year passed on. Everything about his childhood had made him into the person he was today.   
The child-Nny stopped on top of a snow-covered hill shivering.   
"I'm cold," little Nny said.  
"So is my heart," Nny said solemnly.   
"You miss Devi?"  
Nny sighed.  
"I see."  
They stood on that hill for a long time staring at each other. The cold winds whistled in their ears.  
"I'm cold," Little Nny whined.  
Nny shivered. He had forgotten to take a jacket. "You know what? So am I."  
Nny and Mini-Nny stood there in the cold shivering. Then Nny fell to his knees. Mini-Nny only watched. Nny coughed a bit and slowly lay down on his side. He shivered and curled up his body. He had suddenly gotten too weak to go on. Suddenly, a freezing cold wind passed him. As the wind raked through his hair, he suddenly didn't feel so cold anymore. He thought when the wind passed him, he would just pass out from the temperature, but instead, he felt relaxed as though all his stress was carried away with the wind. He relaxed and closed his eyes and everything went black. He lay still and did not move. Mini-Nny just stood there and as Mini-Nny faded into thin air, so did Older Nny's spirit.   
  
* * *  
  
Cinda raced down the street, present in hand. "NNY!" she called out. "NNY! WHERE ARE YOU?" It began to snow harder. The little tiny icicles stung her face as she raced down the street. She found a skinny black figure lying on top of a hill. She raced up the hill and looked at Johnny who was lying on his side, unmoving. "Nny?" she whined. "Nny! Get up! Please get up! For the love of all that is good, wake up!" He didn't move. "Oh, Nny." She began to cry. The tears froze on her face. "Please don't die…"  
The wind blew harder and snow blew everywhere. It became harder to see in the mass blizzard. The two figures that made up Cinda and Nny became vague blobs in the oncoming winter winds. The only thing that was visible was the bright blue present Cinda was going to give to Johnny. The small blue package fell over and revealed all the small gifts inside. There were photos of Nny, Cinda, Devi, Squee, Tenna, and all their friends. Then there was a photo of Devi that rolled out of the box and onto the snow. It was just a plain, simple photo of her holding a paintbrush and a picture that she had painted of Nny behind her. Then the photo flipped over and revealed the note scribbled on it that said:   
Hey Nny, I've been thinking about you and was wondering if we could get together some time. I'll be awaiting your phone call. Talk to you soon!  
  
Sincerely yours,   
~Devi~  
  
  
  
  
END  
  
*Sniff* that was, like, SO sad! But if Nny lived, then it wouldn't have that same powerful effect, wouldn't you say? Hmm… maybe I can write a sequel and it'll be like a second JtHM #6. (Or, at least I think it was #6. It was the one where he died and went to heaven and… that other place… then came back to life.) Um. Until then, I hope it met to your entertainment needs… even though it was veddy sad. Yes… well I'VE been sad so… ya… 


End file.
